I’ve decided that 2015 is the year of ridding my life of bullshit. Mostly, I mean material clutter, but also drama, politics, stress and ridiculous stereotypes that piss me off. Like these. It’s time for a new, simplified definition of “sexy.”
1. The “Perfect” Body
Good GAWD I loathe that phrase. I mean, it’s something that is inherently subjective in terms of what you deem to be “perfect.” So that phrase in and of itself is fundamentally flawed. But my two cents: rail thin is gross. So is being overweight. I admire (and strive to attain) a toned physique that is, well, healthy and real and a force to be reckoned with at the gym. What’s your perfect body?
2. Smart or Hot
As if the two are mutually exclusive. Psh! And I don’t know about all of you other smart, hot ladies out there, but I’m pretty sick of hearing things like, “Smart can be hot,” as if I need reminded or reassured of that fact. I ALREADY KNOW.
3. Long Hair Domination
If you know me in real life, you have seen my recently chopped bob. I freakin’ love it. It’s chic, sassy and totally me. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a tad afraid mid-cut. There was a small part of me that thought, “What if Michael hates it? What if he doesn’t think I’m as pretty with short hair?” (Thankfully, I have an a-mazing guy who first asked if *I* liked it, and then reiterated how beautiful I am) In all types of media, we are constantly shown women with long, flowing locks that are depicted as the epitome of sexy. Us short-haired gals are often described as “cute” and rarely get any love on the sexy front. Time for that shit to change.
4. All Dolled Up
Every single guy I have ever dated has said he prefers me with little or no makeup. Most of my friends’ boyfriends have indicated the same. It’s just not attractive to be all high maintenance and cover up your natural beauty. It’s a signal of underlying insecurity. I would LOVE to see more women going closer to au natural on a daily basis.
5. Mirror Selfies
This is a tough one for me to write about because I loooooove taking selfies. But there is one particular type of selfie that I just refuse to indulge in: the mirror selfie. 1) No one wants to see your bathroom. 2) If you really feel the need to show all of Instagram what you look like head-to-toe tonight, have someone snap a photo once you’re out. 3) YOUR PHONE HAS A FRONT-FACING CAMERA, thereby eliminating the need for a mirror in this equation! It just makes you look vain and dumb which are not sexy.
6. Eating/Drinking Delicately
Look, I am all about a healthy lifestyle of clean eating. But when you order a salad of micro-greens with the dressing on the side (and only eat half of it) with a vodka water, I gotta call bullshit. NO ONE eats and drinks like that constantly. Everyone splurges on occasion and I’m so over feeling like people are judging me when I do. Yeah, I AM gonna order truffle fries as a side to my field greens salad, and I feel perfectly okay about that because I am not a pig on the regular and frankly, I’ve worked out every damn day this week and have EARNED those fries. This expectation that ladies act and eat delicately is just cray.
To me, sexy is a feeling. It comes from within and is experienced differently for everyone, much like falling in love. So who’s to tell us what a blanket definition of sexy should be? No one, that’s who.
Am I right?! What other bullshit stereotypes need to die this year?