Last weekend, I had brunch at The Table with a group of gals I’ve come to know through a nonprofit community theatre organization I’m involved with (SNAP! Performance Productions). Not only are these ladies creative, musically talented, theatrically inclined and damn funny, they are incredibly approachable, thoughtful and intelligent. I love hanging out with them.
Anyway, as we were stuffing face with copious amounts of coffee and quiche last week, our conversation turned to the topic of things that women tend to do… that they just shouldn’t. So for the sake of womenkind everywhere, here are three things women need to stop doing.
1. Apologizing unnecessarily.
Women so often couch everything in an apology. “I’m sorry to interrupt but I just have a quick question,” or “I’m sorry if I misunderstood,” or “I’m sorry, but I’m not available that day.”
Look, ladies. There’s a perfectly good time and place for an apology – when you wrong someone and need to ask for their forgiveness. But apologies have no place in everyday speak. There’s no reason to add an “I’m sorry” into every interactions It makes you look weak and people will not take you seriously. If you want to be respected – or want to respect yourself – stop apologizing!
2. Diminishing yourself.
Have you ever had this happen to you:
Sarah: Wow, Rachel, I love your hair today, it looks great.
Rachel: Oh my gosh, it’s so frizzy, I was in such a rush this morning and just didn’t have enough time.
Why is it so damn hard to just accept a compliment?! Why do we feel the need to diminish things that are good about us, as if we don’t deserve them? Just say “thank you” and enjoy the compliment. You deserve it!
3. Being indirect.
When a dude is into you, but he’s too douchey for your liking, just tell him, “I’m not interested.”
Easier said than done, right? To say something like that feels… bitchy. But why? It’s just a very direct way of getting your point across.
Have you ever worn a fake engagement ring out at the bar to keep the creepers at bay? Or made reference to a fake boyfriend to get some class-A d-bag off your case? Sure, we all have. And, as fun as it may be to play these games sometimes, it’s really… STUPID. Why can’t we just say what we mean?
Well, we can. Even if it comes with consequences, like people thinking you’re a tad bitchy.
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What do you think? Are there any other “do not’s” you have from your experience?
Here is my commitment (and, the challenge that I pose to all of you): focus on changing your mindset. Don’t apologize, just say “thank you” (and be generous with doling out those compliments to others!), and tell it like it is. I’ll bet you end up feeling so much more empowered!